The Blorp Onesie
The Blorp Onesie
WARNINGMay cause uncontrollable monster behaviour, spontaneous couch naps and confused pets.
MORE MONSTERS, LESS MONEY
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Normal pyjamas are boring. Be the monster.
The Blorp is a big mouth monster onesie made of thick, fluffy coral fleece. Googly eyes on top, a giant pouty mouth in the middle, wild fluffy hair and a tiny monster living in your pocket. You'll be warm. Everyone else will be confused.
- The face. A huge pouty mouth and googly eyes on the hood. Zero chill, maximum Blorp.
- The fleece. Thick, fluffy coral fleece that feels like wearing your favourite blanket.
- The pocket buddy. A mini monster pocket for your phone, snacks or the remote you'll never give back.
- The fit. Loose and roomy. Built for the couch, not the catwalk.
- The squad. 6 colours, so the whole house can match. Or fight about who gets purple.
Size guide
S: 150–155 cm, 40–50 kg
M: 155–165 cm, 50–65 kg
L: 165–175 cm, 65–80 kg
XL: 175–185 cm, 80–90 kg
Loose fit. Between two sizes? Pick the bigger one.
Material and care
Polyester coral fleece. Wash cold on a gentle cycle and skip the tumble dryer so your Blorp stays fluffy. Follow the care label.
Shipping
Shipping
Shipping options and costs are shown at checkout before you pay. As soon as your Blorp leaves, you get a tracking link by email.
Returns
Returns
Within the EU you can cancel your order within 14 days of receiving it. Message us through the contact page to start a return.
The Blorp Onesie
Find your Blorp size
| Size | Your height | Your weight |
|---|---|---|
| S | 150–155 cm | 40–50 kg |
| M | 155–165 cm | 50–65 kg |
| L | 165–175 cm | 65–80 kg |
| XL | 175–185 cm | 80–90 kg |
Loose, roomy fit. Between two sizes? Pick the bigger one.
Anatomy of a Blorp
Four parts. Zero dignity. Maximum cosy.
-
The googly eyes
Two big eyes on the hood that look in slightly different directions. Like you on a Monday.
-
The pout
A giant pink mouth that does the talking, so you don't have to.
-
The pocket buddy
A mini monster pocket for your phone, snacks or the remote you'll never give back.
-
The fluff
Thick coral fleece from hood to toes. Basically a blanket that learned to walk.
Same fluff, different personality
Can't decide? That's what the Duo deal is for.
Main character energy. Will narrate your life whether you asked or not.
Adopt Gary
Lives on the couch. Pays no rent. Very fluffy about it.
Adopt Steve
Chill to the bone. Cold hands, warm fleece.
Adopt Fran
Loud. Proud. Has opinions about your snacks.
Adopt Ron
Mysterious. Brooding. Secretly very cuddly.
Adopt Mo
Soft, sweet and absolutely not to be trusted near hot chocolate.
Adopt MelStuff people ask
Can't find your answer? Message us and a real human (not a monster) will reply.
What size should I get?
Go by your height: S 150–155 cm, M 155–165 cm, L 165–175 cm, XL 175–185 cm. It's a loose, roomy fit, so if you're between two sizes, take the bigger one.
What is it made of?
Thick, fluffy polyester coral fleece. Soft, warm and very huggable.
Can I wash it?
Yes. Wash cold on a gentle cycle and skip the tumble dryer so your Blorp stays fluffy. Always follow the care label.
Is it one size fits all?
Nope. It comes in S, M, L and XL, all unisex.
How do the multi-buy discounts work?
Add 2 onesies to your cart and you save 10%. Add 3 or more and you save 15%. The discount is applied automatically at checkout. Mix colours and sizes however you like.
Can I return it?
Yes. Within the EU you can cancel your order within 14 days of receiving it. Send us a message through the contact page and we'll walk you through it.